Sunday, April 26, 2009

The Escapade--First Escapade

Watching the Moonlit Sky

by Madhatter T.F.

I do not own the moon nor the sky. I do not own the sun nor the stars. I do not own you nor even I.

-A lonely man by AnonymousOnLooker

AnonymousOnLooker went about the town just as his penname suggested. He was nowhere near as popular as the Uchiha successor was. Nor as infamous--in the general public's eye--as the older brother of said successor.

The truth was he was the nightmare of all the underworld hoodlums beckoning from the slums to the high and mighty two-faced freaks in the urban jungle. Uchiha Itachi was his "bell boy". The older brother always was there to pick up the crime scene pieces as his "Master" told him so. Often acknowledged as the Master's butler, his alias was now Butler. Uchiha Itachi was very protective of his baby brother and his partner--if you call the man behind the plots and plans to thwart the wealthy's spree of money dwindling in the streets and still remain as invisible to the Human Eye as he was infamous in top secret levels, yes he was his partner even though he had been leaked to society at large and forced out of his inheritance. More like, Uchiha Itachi really was the bell boy of his partner; the Uchiha would arrive when he knew that the cops would walk in on the little weirdo and get him out of there while managing to clean up and escape with the said weirdo.

What had Uchiha Itachi running around Japan after the little weirdo in the first place?

The little weirdo under then public name of famous mystery novelist AnonymousOnLooker told him of his little brother's scheme to fish the inheritance from him the moment he gained enough balls to actually pry in their family's business which was holding Tokyo's Underworld in check.

The Uchiha clan has been dominating the underworld from the beginning of it all. Of course, who would not be caught dead in running a multi-billion empire? Each one who ruled with an iron fist--they had guards... lots and lots of ninja training guards.

Itachi never wanted to be in that place from his first breath of life. He had a mentor who was several years younger than him. Itachi was about fifteen when he had his mentor. The little weirdo was only four but the freaky little thing could speak the official six languages of the UN and have the training and capacity of a jounin guard for the Main Haunch-o himself. Itachi was impressed by the little freakaziod so he let him teach him whatever the hell he was talking about for the next ten years. During year eight, he noticed Freaky--yes that was his nickname--doing something with his laptop. He asked Freaky what he was doing with his laptop. Freaky retaliated with a "this is my laptop; get your own if you would like". Damn him.

When year ten popped out of nowhere and his little brother was ten years old, Freaky decided an attempt at the little duck-butt head that Itachi called his brother. That same night, he fled with Itachi--more like dragging Itachi from his bed and slinging the heir for a piggyback ride to escape. Freaky said to Itachi that he was being "kidnapped". Itachi being the idiot to Yakuza affairs that he was laughed. He laughed a very loud obnoxious laugh that Freaky decided to end because it might blow their location.

Being the idiot that he was as explained, Itachi went into a fit about him being brought back "home". Freaky was not having any of that.

Freaky then explained to the rock-headed Itachi what the devious little two-faced prick of a duck-butt headed asshole that he wasted enough years of his life calling his brother was up to. Itachi went limp from escaping Freaky's grasp and just stared at the ground and then at Freaky's endless pool orbs of aquamarine. Shit.

Itachi passed out.




When dawn broke, Itachi woke to a sizzled-out campfire and Freaky staring daggers at him. What did he do?

Itachi went on rambling for the next thirty minutes. Freaky just glaring at him. Each minute passed with that glare intensifying.

"SHUT UP!"

Itachi went into frozen icicle mode. "What?"

"I said, 'Shut up.'"

"Oh."

"I did this to protect you. You are my charge. And, the rightful heir to the Uchiha leadership."

"But I don't wanna~!"

"I am not giving you a choice!"

"Nopey! I won't go back there."

"Yes, you would... but not immediately."

"Huh?"

Thus began the really boring intricate planning days in the forest. Shit. I thought that was the worst period of days I would have had to suffer but no! Freaky had a way with being more of a prick than he was when training him.




"I hope that insignificant piece of shit is following close behind. Or else, he gets no freakin' food for tonight," murmured a hooded figure heading toward an abandoned building just across Masazaki Station which was settled directly at the front and centre of the Mayami Fair and on the other side of the river.

"Damn him if he does not show up. He will be the one who is going to get killed anyway."

The hooded figure was not deranged enough to talk to himself. He did this to make sure the "insignificant piece of shit" followed. Because said piece of excreta always was trying to unknot himself from these events. Leading to the general public's knowledge about the shit's whereabouts.

Yep. Damn him.

The man's cell phone rang in the middle of him getting the lock of the gate to the abandoned building. He cursed his witless accomplice and answered with a "what the fuck do you want" noise. The other figure behind the man was whispering hurriedly into his own mobile while the hooded one fiddled with the gate's lock. The accomplice was whining about how cold it was in the middle of the night and why they had to go there in the middle of the night when they could have just gotten there sooner. The first man was droning him out with calculations to the lock and picking a worthy theory of a number combination to open the confounded object. He said to the accomplice to shut his trap before they--he, the accomplice--blew their cover. Yakuza bell boys do not whine nor act like babies.

Unlike what the accomplice's acting.

"Shut the fuck up before I finally decided to end you rants by pulling out your chords when you sleep..."

This seemed to work because the second man shivered involuntarily at the thought.

They progressed from meeting at the gate and continued to the abandoned building lying alone in the middle of the deserted landscape.

"These folks need a landscaper..."

That was it.

"I hate you..." With that, the first hooded figure pulled something from his cape and wrapped it around the second man's head. It made no noise so it was not duct tape clamping the accomplice's jaw shut. Then, he pulled out another from his sleeve and attached the ends of the thing together to loop the accomplice's throat.

"There. That would be sufficient in shutting you up."

The instruments were nothing for shutting organs down. It was for the captive of the instruments to will their organs into silence. The one around the neck is to see to the vocal cords' movement. The one for the jaw and mouth was to see to their movement. Both would release a shock of energy that would not stop the heart but enough to make the wearer jump. The amount of amperes that would be pumped would increase with the number of times the wearer would move the organs. Shit.

The rest of the trip to and inside the scary two-story was in silence until both outsiders picked up on movement and music from the left of the second floor from the spiral staircase landing.

"Put on your damn hood properly."

Both outsiders stalked toward the melody and the awkward voices. They seemed to be familiar to the one gagged. The corridor was flourished with different sized cobwebs and splintered or just broken wooden or copper chairs. From the looks of them, they could be nearly two centuries old and worth a fortune. How come the building looks like a piece of shit on the outside? The accomplice meandering thoughts ended when his haughty companion stopped abruptly in front of an ornate double door. He would have just to ask later on, after the mission.

"I am going to knock thrice and I would be dead. I am going to knock twice and I would be detected. I am going to knock once," the first's words were uttered to the expanse of moulding wood. And then did the music stop and the awkward voices ceased.

Are we going to die? thought the hooded being gagged by two death instruments.

"Enter," said an ominous sounding voice and then they were standing in the centre of a lavish condo unit with party goers who came to place their stares unto the two unsuspected visitors.

There was a chair in front of them. They faced the north of the room where a stage was set for the chair. The furniture looked more like a throne. Someone asked from the shadow of the throne, "Who passes this event?"

The king-figure was hooded by the shadow from his throne. No lights illuminated the stage and an eerie almost glow could be seen at the back of the furniture if one would squint like the second hooded figure was doing which earned him an elbow to the ribs.

Shit. The amperes hurt.

"Your death."

The throne boomed an unsettling malicious laugh. What the fuck? thought the gagged one.

Soon there were fifty men armed with katanas ready to eliminate them. After a second’s breadth, they were all on the two intruders. The hoods went flying into the air to reveal raven and vermilion colours atop the heads of the duo. The raven barrelled to the left and kicked a man in his ribs while holding his left wrist. The raven then steered the body of the guard to act as a shield for his back while manoeuvring the guard’s left hand to slice four of his comrades’ arms and legs off. This happened while the vermillion decided to take the twenty to their right and get five katanas from the first fools who dared go near him. The katanas went flying into the air to land on five more heads getting two bodies down for each of them. After the ten were solved, he proceeded to do the exact motions from earlier—getting five katanas with kicks and jabs then slicing off the head and someone’s limb off and then finding another victim for the blades—to finish off the rest of the twenty. That left thirty. When he turned, the ten of the thirty were already sprawled on the floor lifeless.

“Very good,” he complimented to his accomplice. He then walked to him and removed the instruments from before then cloaking them.

“Nothing a student of a master can’t do.”

The last twenty had backed off enough to assess the situation. The duo seemed to be capable enough to discard the chuunin guards on the floor. Vermillion and raven thought that the remaining were jounin and were the last to attack to get information on their moves. It was time to change their moves.

The duo dived first and disappeared, the war-experienced were the ones who saw the movement of the fast limbs. Those less experienced had been knocked into comma for life by the gaining team of two. The three men who saw bloodshed far greater than this knew now who the troublesome twosome were and kneeled in time before the blows were given to them for their last dance.

“Lord Itachi. Please forgive us.”

“Who is you leader?” asked the vermillion.

“The enthroned coward over there,” answered the one to the left of the centre jounin kneeling.

“Itachi,” warned the vermillion.

“Oh. Yeah!” said Itachi. “Rise and help me.”

The three rose. “We are ready to die for you,” all three chorused.

“I-I... Uh.”

“Itachi,” hissed the glaring tone of the vermillion companion.

“So—“

“Itachi.”

“Okay.... Um...”
“Attack.”

“Yeah—ATTACK!”

Four jounin ninjas attacked the throne and then a move sent three of them bawling back the fourth stayed there and then flashed of steel on steel sparked through the room. The party-goers were paralysed and even Itachi himself, but not the three jounins. They sprang to their feet readying for another attack when the vermillion’s voice spoke up, “Take Itachi somewhere safe.”

Before any of them could quarrel that the leader should stay they heard a guttural growl signalling the vermillion’s pounce on the king wanna-be. That sound made them move and carry Itachi across the grounds toward the gate. They jumped above it and disappeared in the fair across the river.




The place got a clear-out by the police the next morning. They skimmed the place first and found near one-hundred souls down in the basement of the old building. They discovered that the thing was used for the Yamamichi Yakuza parties for women and drug trafficking.

“Who the hell trashed the joint?” asked a perky voice. It belonged to a blonde detective sporting a bang to cover the right side of his face.

“Deidara, you should be upstairs working on rounding up the women.”

“Come on, Tobi! You and your by-the-book attitude! You must live once and a while!”

“Well I am sorry, Deidara. We can’t all afford to be carefree like you!” bellowed the cloaked detective sporting a spiral mask with a hole. His raspy voice echoing in the room at ground floor.

The room’s atmosphere was stifling and sick with human blood dried overnight. There on the north wall of this particular room was a message in blood just like the other Yakuza places for the past three years. A message which read, “those who do not believe my reign shall perish within the vermillion’s grasp of death.”

Whoever this piece of shit is, he is good. Thought Tobi. “Deidara!”

“Eh?”

“What are the findings upstairs?”

“The women? Why don’t you just call them the CSI? They’re that you know?”

“No. After what that blue-haired freak told me. No,” Tobi said with a sour face.

“Tobi, you should respect your higher-ups,” claimed a low voice that was not Deidara’s.

“Shut the hell up, Hidan!”

“Sorry... Tobi. I thought it’d be funny,” jabbed back Hidan back as he casually made his way into the damp room. “Shit. The lunatic must be a real psycho.”

“Yeah, un.”

Al three of them stared at the message in blood for a couple more seconds before they heard a beeping noise. Shit. Double crap shit.

“Everybody hit the deck!” Hidan cried before the ceiling suddenly burst forth ashes from its measly structure.

“What the fuck? Fucker!” Hidan hissed after the cloud cement applauded with the equally cemented floor. “The fucker rigged a bomb overhead the room!!!”

“Nope. Look at that, hm,” commented Deidara while examining the spectacular piece of nothingness before the three detectives.

“Shit! That piece of cow-humping asshole! He destroyed the fucking message! Again!” screeched the masked detective. “Now we have to picture it AFTER we rebuild the damn thing and see the damage done this time!”

“Last time, he drowned the slab,” stated Hidan expressionlessly.

“Then the time before that, he put on canvass and set that aflame, yeah.”

“Shit... Mother—“




“I hope their happy with their present.”

“Good job, Itachi. That’s excellent foresight.”

“Thanks. I owe it all to you,” Itachi beamed back at his companion in a wheel wagon bearing food supply of the unsuspecting travellers who picked up some uninvited company.

“Hn,” grunted the vermillion headed figure beside him and turned to his left to have a view of some of the canyon that they were passing through. “Itachi, where are these stupid idiots going?”

The canyon was not really dry; it was humid and had gray walls on either side. “They said they were going to the Kyoto port to dock aboard a boat there. It seems that they are trying to migrate to the Western unknown.”

“Why?”

“Financial trouble, I think.”

“Hm...”

“What?”

“Remember what we have talked about when this whole affair began?” reminded vermillion.

“Yes. You said that we were going there ourselves but not this time. It is too early,” countered Itachi. He was slightly unnerved at the idea and was not yet willing to go anywhere near the Western world.

“I thought so,” breathed out the vermillion’s grim reply.

“You thought what?” asked a perplexed Itachi. His red-headed friend was known to think too much on sparse subjects.

“You are frightened of travelling to the Other World. Do not worry we are still masters of our art even in other lands. With this knowledge, we are warriors free to conquer any land,” explained the red head straight to the point. Just like always.

“But—“

“Do not disgrace the Uchiha name,” snapped his companion.

“Haven’t I done exactly that when I got caught by the local media or ran away from my responsibilities since I was a child or the time when I ultimately left my clan to venture with you aimlessly—“

“We are not venturing aimlessly!” retorted his Master with a great outcry. We are leaving this wagon. To the next one, Itachi.”

“O—okay.”

They headed to the next wagon to avoid the suspicions of the travellers and hopped in that. They continued their conversation.

“You know what the plan is,” said the vermillion. “You are my priority. Even though you call me Master, I am not it.”

With that, the journey was left to silence and thoughts in Itachi’s part about how could this man beside him be so protective of someone so measly. What was he talking about not worthy of being a Master?

Soon they reached a cavern with the lights being a vibrant orange colour tinged with red when you squint with lazy eyes. It was sunset and Itachi was tired by his thoughts and the physical extraneous activities he and the red head had gone doing the night before. Miles of running to collapse by the travellers wagons. Pure dumb luck. Yep... dumb luck.

“Rest, Itachi. You will be awakened come morning’s first light.”

Itachi spared his companion a glance. He looked extremely old. Older than Itachi himself and the kid was at least half his age or something. That brought in mind when the red head’s birthday was. Hm... when could that be?

With that last thought in mind, Uchiha Itachi dozed off and slumbered into a dream about a brunette who looked a lot like an animal of some sort.

Gaara glanced at his charge with thoughtful and sorrow-ridden eyes. He looked at the boy who believed him to be some sort of character who would—was better than the sole heir of the Uchiha clan. The clan who accepted him even though for just being their weapon. They taught him something valuable. Madara taught him how to fight and how to live for you alone. With these teachings, he also drilled into him to be loyal to the Uchiha clan. The havoc that would happen when things go awry in the clan was devastating. Not only would the underworld crumble faster than a month, the economic turmoil to be unleashed would be worldwide. The Yakuza had already spread throughout the globe.

Stupid raven. Gaara’s last thought about the other before emerging from the wagons to wagering with the travellers for them to be sent to the West.


Insanely me ;)
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Friday, June 20, 2008

A Reply to My Mom

Wine:
It is a common fact by now that it's good for you. But thanks for your concern.

Mama, I received a word from Auntie Ember what you have planned. Tutu will be getting the finest, cheapest laptop there is available in the Philippines. If Azuz will be below php20K, we have a deal that she can have it. Uncle Jeff and I will be the committee on purchasing the said product/s--cheapest there is in the market with good quality.

My upgrade will come later.

School's fine. I have learned much about Geometry. Thanks to the library. In this first quarter, there's not much to do so I go there every coaching time--when there's no coach and no one's berating me on writing down notes. I've also learned chemistry through Matal and Walten's book. Did you know that chemistry is the Central Science? It touches all aspects of life. It has five major fields: organic chem, inorganic chem, physical chem, analytical chem, and biological chem.

I'm doing well--I'm not sick. I've been drinking my Cherifer and daily dose of 100mg of vitamin C. There is this over-the-counter drug called Methadrin. It is a brain dope--it enhances attention spans and focus levels. It keeps narcoleptic patients from going limp--they won't be vegetables. A man once used this as an enhancer seven days straight, 100mg daily, before a MENSA examination. He passed the shape level II with 109, and the second exam for problem solving with 133. Uncle Todi and I can pass him. Unfortunately, we're not in MENSA.

Tutu's doing fine. She still swears in Bicol for fun, at the TV, at the radio, at everything that she despises (especially Miming). Everything looks normal.

Da's doing fine. She helps me a lot. Quite a lot. Very a lot. A lot, a lot.

She just made a crack (Tutu did). A'lat-- she heard me saying a lot and crack a joke. By the way, it means "butas-butas na bayong".

Auntie is doing my typing. She's practicing to become a typist or a D.A. (directory assistant)

"Let no one ignorant of Geometry enter through my door." -Plato

Plato convinced the most of Athens and Greece that essential knowledge of Geometry is needed to become a true academician. The golden age of Geometry was in Greek history which it is the crown jewel of all sciences. Mama, do you know your shoes have Geometry as well? You wouldn't be walking on them if they weren't in Geometrical measurements. Also, they are made of elastic polymers which are thyxococin before.

Make sure to read Tutu's blog. She made a chemical alert about the most toxic plastic ware, polyvinyl chloride (PVC). You'll be shocked to know that your beautiful curtains are actually hanging toxic chemicals of doom. But I can't conclude that yet not unless the Philippines has a Chemical Analysis Center. (I'm sure we have one but I don't know which space of the Hidden Planet it's in.)



Pookie. I saw her with whiskers-like black smears on her face yesterday. With my green three-flowered shirt which was my favorite before, she elbow-weeded through the dark crowds in Uncle Jeff's shop. It was a pretty hilarious scene. It even became more hysterical when I petted her for the amusing event and just strode like a big man down the aisle past me. I laughed all the way home. And what's even more laughable and incredibly humorous is that I dreamed of it for a while before sleeping--the green-elbow weeding giant Pookie mowing through downtown Makati. You can just imagine the looks on the horrified citizens' faces--"Help me! Help me!"

I think she's pretty happy destroying the city for her birthday. Imagine the possibilities of playing dodge-ball with the Earth. We should all pray now and repent for our sins--"Dear Lord, help us from the giant whiskered whisky baby!"

Note: Never invite Pookie over for a drinking bash. Worlds just might collide literally.



I just remembered by gratitude of Auntie Ember of the days back in Milkweed. After Reilly and I went home from school, tired, exhausted, and brain-drained, our minds start working. How completely insane and paradoxal. Well, just what do you expect from "Dumb and Dumber" clones. The afternoons are long, the nights are short but they are even shorter when you laugh the day away. For example, one night, we were talking about pillows, then, it became about the frame of the double-decker, then it became about termites. Then, one of us proposed an outrageous idea--"What will the world be like if humans also eat wood?" We laughed. We delved into that topic greater than our own studies.
"Imagine ... if TJ ate wood?"
"TJ already eats wood--didn't you see him gnawing the poster?"
Oh yes, very intelligible indeed.

Two of the geniuses that created idiosyncrasy and evolved it into an art form.

Another time was when noodles became saucers. One evening after eating noodles for dinner, Reilly had an insane idea, again. "Let's make noodles fly!" "How do we do that?" "Like this!" I suppose it was boredom. I think it's just the toyo acting up. I believe that when two minds think-alike, they form this telekinetic bond--when one is bored, the other will think of a way out of bored. Reilly spiraled one noodle about the teeth of his fork. Then he spun the fork with his palms and let the fork and noodle fly. He caught the fork--without the noodle. The noodle, though, made its way onto his forehead. You can just imagine the look of our faces when I said, "You look like Mary who has a little lamb whose fleece is as yellow as a noodle!" The Reilly acting as both lamb and Mary at the same time--the back of his head is the face of Mary (Mary having a severe case of hairy proportions) and his face portraying the lamb(as if he's lamb-like, all innocent and fluffy, while all he got was a yellow noodle and two front back teeth).

In those two very horrifying events when idiosyncrasy reigned supreme and drugged us out of reality, we laughed until we slept out of stomach cramps and nature's eyedrops. And exhaustion. We couldn't feel the pain anymore--not the concussions from the walls not the muscles burning while your whole body was stressed due to humor.

And they say humor is good for you.

May be we have a little too much humor.



I hope that's long enough for you! :D
Insanely me ;)
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Wednesday, June 4, 2008

A Challenge Against One's Self

I have this partner-in-crime. She has a blog as well. And, I gave her a challenge. I think she'll only include it as a snippet for hers, but I'm going to do a whole post just for that moment. I challenged her to write something on her blog about the moment we had in the house while watching "Dyesebel". We shouted "gago" at the TV simultaneously as we saw Fredo's vice president take photos of Dyesebel. Then, I said, "I love our family." And, we laughed. A good hearty laugh.

I dunno. But, something about that moment made history within the confines of an insane mind. Maybe because I'm mad, I think that that moment was sheer genius in terms of comedy. We say a cuss word simultaneously and then I say something heart-felt. Such irony and sanity in madness is sure to strike one's curiosity on how it affected you greatly as to challenge your partner-in-crime right then and there after the special moment. Yes... How peculiar. Such a bloody ferocious moment with the TV can make people see others in light. Yes... Odd. How wonderful! I'm not the only madwoman in the family.

Come to think of it, all the women are.

My mum and aunts and my Gran like going shopping; and, they'll all go mad for a midnight madness sale in their favorite stores (which is practically every store there's something to buy in with great taste). I take that they're mad because of it. I really don't know why they're absolutely mad because of the shoes and the shirts and the skirts and the socks and the bags... and the rest is history! I may have a Degree in Psychology but no man can ever understand the heart and soul of a woman. Or no woman who thinks like a man can get what they're thinking.

Gosh! It's hard to be "a girl". There are these 'things' that you have to do and not do. By gosh. I don't get what the other kids in school are saying! "I like your top!" What's that supposed to mean? "I like your shirt!" Much better. Clearer. "I like your tank!" Shoot. Shoot her! Ready... Aim... FIRE! I only understood the meaning of tank after I got home from all the madness in the universe that doesn't bode well the imagination. I asked Mama to explain why I punched the girl and i had no right... (After all, the girl called my best friend's sando a tank!)

Then, I understood nothing. Nothing at all except that maybe I'm the one who's sane because the world has fallen into madness' grip itself.

Yes. Madness. Insanity. Such beautiful words. We laughed together that night with the TV, as we just said two opposites with the same punch. We laughed because there were no words to describe how we feel for the other and how in sync we are together. Even though no words were spoken before the moment's pass, we understood that there was no need for them. and just LAUGHED! A laugh that says, "we are insane, mad, loony--and LOVING IT!"

Insanely me ;)
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