Since I have no reviewers here... I'll just post the really long ones here first--to beta--and then post the perfected versions over there and there (FF.net & FP.net).
Because of this, I'll get more feedback from you by letting you point out exactly where I am wrong with my GRAMMAR and SPELLING. e.g., I were going through... You say:
"I were going thorough" in paragraph 3 (random number here) is wrong. Please change into "I was going through..." and all that blah!
Of course, you can also comment on other things about my writing or the fandom or the piece itself. Whichever comes first. I just am lazy in burning up the Muses and actually beta-ing my own pieces. T_T stupid Writer's Laziness... That's right, "Writer's Laziness" not "Writer's Block".
Insanely me ;)