MAN!!!I think I'm losing it big time.
My world has revolved in and out of the world that created the words 'corruption', 'sadism', 'masochism', 'hedonism', 'euthanasia'. Yeah. My world that had words that can inflict different types of emotions still imparting a fervent feverish feeling that seems to stay there 'till you see some light.
My world. The sinful world that God strives to help. That God so ever loves. That God never gave up on but gave up on itself, it had. An elated world that revolves on unfounded ideas that also implodes to the fact that they are unfounded, disbelieved, unwanted or no one can drive them.
My friends. I think their my friends. I think too much. That's why I don't have much of them. Sports can land you on the top of the social ladder or the thing I call, The Social Foot Stain. Being mean to other people will rank you high on Priority Lane. They fear you as they are only mortals unseeing of any factual resignation of the legal patent to their rights. And your rights.
Cool is an undefined word in the vocabulary being used to designate the calls of howler monkeys lose in schools everywhere you turn. But being smart and really using it to impart so much of a hair's breadth of what you know, they start maltreating you and you lose hope of ever trying to contact losing humanity in the "people" around you.
People--> A body of human beings being condered collectively or generally; two or more persons.
Ever heard of the saying: "It's easy to be a human being but it's hard to be a human doing." Yeah people don't get it too much. I do though. They're not the ones that are ridiculed by the entire population of teenagers in your school everyday, every hour, every minute of your school years. In "prestigious schools". You name it: private schools and integrated public high schools. If the people who can't understand me and respect me for who I am, being that they're really narrow minded and shallow, heaven help those who are really dumb and stupid, as the "they" say.
I saw a manga that's named "Kat and Mouse". The girl, Kat, is kinda like me but I'm more of a Mouse fan. Mouse pretty cool as I saw some of myself in her and some of myself in Kat. I don't particularly raise my hand up anymore. Venomous people about have the tendency to strike with fangs bare at those who do the best jobs. In everything. So, yeah. I like computers. I moved from there to here. There: people are HUMAN.
Here: People are snakes.
You know, if I'm not the one writing, this people will think that I feel pitiful and cannot be reliable in anything. The genius that's so weak and pathetic.
I'm weird. I can accept that. I'm a loner but still has rights. I really am. But I have friends... I think. I have a best friend... but I think she's moving away. I'm an erudite scholar that wants a challenge. I got the challenge, and the annoying people that shouldn't have come with the package. extras. But I'm not that pathetic. I'm just letting out something people already know and already have considered for the long while people have been on earth. I'm strong enough to let them slide and let them say things to me that never really affects me now.. but they're hurting my friends... I can't stand for that. I'm strong enough to actually let them know I know and let them get annoyed at my asking: "Why?", "Why are you doing this?".
I lose my friends to them because I haven't given enough power to them that I could have lent. I lost some soul in that happening. Those happenings. These happenings. And those were souls that I should've protected, should've warned. They're still there but drowning all the same.
I'm losing my mind. The aromatic sense of an ethereal song that sting your heart with the truth and expunge the foes out and let them in as people on need. I don;t hate them. I pity them. They don't deserve pity. They deserve help that they refuse. I forget about helping them. I see a friend losing so much that I cannot bare to look at the masochism craze that she lets out with a smile, a mask to hide the suffering, the loathe, somehow and in a way. I cringe at the sight. I cringe at myself. I don't cringe. My work path can do fine. My school studies are fine. My soul hanging on the edge of reality and grabbing on the linen thread of silken daggers that is of a hair's breadth and soon, I know, that it shall fall, and so as I, to the eternal pit of horror that found itself in the arms of beauty amongst the lethal betrayals of any man and beast in the liturgical night made of the blackness and avant of human sin. This is as I see the world plunge in the black hole that plucks the song in a guitar hymn, the Stairway to Heaven of a deadly hum, rhythm undone for those who cannot sing.
I'm losing it big time......
I see a lady. On the hill on Christmas Eve. She sat there unwavering. She sat there waiting. I call to her but she doesn't turn around. She wadded her arms in the black of night and sung the tune and imbibed the well of Work undenied. I tore from the sight and fell to the litter that carried me away by the sea. An ostentatious sight beheld me. But then I saw her again. It started in the hymn of Earthly sin.
The lady at the end is my friend being pummeled by the popular crowd. Stupid people--I wrote this because she got hurt. And, she's the only one who approached me and stayed with me. She's my friend...
Insanely me ;)