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Friday, June 20, 2008

A Reply to My Mom

It is a common fact by now that it's good for you. But thanks for your concern.

Mama, I received a word from Auntie Ember what you have planned. Tutu will be getting the finest, cheapest laptop there is available in the Philippines. If Azuz will be below php20K, we have a deal that she can have it. Uncle Jeff and I will be the committee on purchasing the said product/s--cheapest there is in the market with good quality.

My upgrade will come later.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

A Challenge Against One's Self

I have this partner-in-crime. She has a blog as well. And, I gave her a challenge. I think she'll only include it as a snippet for hers, but I'm going to do a whole post just for that moment. I challenged her to write something on her blog about the moment we had in the house while watching "Dyesebel". We shouted "gago" at the TV simultaneously as we saw Fredo's vice president take photos of Dyesebel. Then, I said, "I love our family." And, we laughed. A good hearty laugh.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

My Best Friend Got Hurt

I think I'm losing it big time.

My world has revolved in and out of the world that created the words 'corruption', 'sadism', 'masochism', 'hedonism', 'euthanasia'. Yeah. My world that had words that can inflict different types of emotions still imparting a fervent feverish feeling that seems to stay there 'till you see some light.

My world. The sinful world that God strives to help. That God so ever loves. That God never gave up on but gave up on itself, it had. An elated world that revolves on unfounded ideas that also implodes to the fact that they are unfounded, disbelieved, unwanted or no one can drive them.

My friends. I think their my friends. I think too much. That's why I don't have much of them. Sports can land you on the top of the social ladder or the thing I call, The Social Foot Stain. Being mean to other people will rank you high on Priority Lane. They fear you as they are only mortals unseeing of any factual resignation of the legal patent to their rights. And your rights.

Cool is an undefined word in the vocabulary being used to designate the calls of howler monkeys lose in schools everywhere you turn. But being smart and really using it to impart so much of a hair's breadth of what you know, they start maltreating you and you lose hope of ever trying to contact losing humanity in the "people" around you.

Mama sent a message!

Mama sent a message! She was missing for quite sometime. She wasn't returning calls or messages. Not even in YM. She was missing. Then, just now. As in, NOW--in my offline messages, she said that she has sent $1000 to us. Isn't that nice! We were experiencing some financial troubles and here she is waiting to give us something anew! We prayed that we will be safe, my mom as well. We prayed this morning and anointed ourselves to be beings for the Lord. We were very spiritual in those few but saintly minutes we had with the Lord. And, we were energized by the Holy Spirit to go forth to the outside world and fear no evil! We have expelled the evil spirits and have a hedge to protect us with a seal of faith. And, my Gran told me to look if Mum's online. There it is. GOOD NEWS! The Lord is so GOOD! ALL THE TIME! AMEN! Hallelujah!

Insanely me ;)

Saturday, May 24, 2008

About my fandoms...

Since I have no reviewers here... I'll just post the really long ones here first--to beta--and then post the perfected versions over there and there ( &

Because of this, I'll get more feedback from you by letting you point out exactly where I am wrong with my GRAMMAR and SPELLING. e.g., I were going through... You say:

"I were going thorough" in paragraph 3 (random number here) is wrong. Please change into "I was going through..." and all that blah!

Of course, you can also comment on other things about my writing or the fandom or the piece itself. Whichever comes first. I just am lazy in burning up the Muses and actually beta-ing my own pieces. T_T stupid Writer's Laziness... That's right, "Writer's Laziness" not "Writer's Block".

Insanely me ;)

Who is to Blame? (Chapter of Twos: Part Two)

Chapter of Twos: Part Two
Disclaimer: usual disclaimers apply
Note: I found several mistakes in my previous chapter and I hope I didn’t insult anyone, or bother anyone by them. I will fix them, or I have fixed them. Whichever I did. Because this chapter’s pretty long. I’m sorry to keep you people waiting. And I remembered Chicken Little always say “What were we talking about?”
And, I’m sorry if I flooded your mail… I was freaking out abut the stupid one-shot that I did. As I’ve said… I’m a perfectionist. Or what sleeps deprivation does to you.

I’m going to be sick.”
Father Nightroad, it is not advisable that you walk to the bar and drink sugar-saturated tea during this flight—the confines of the air-borne vehicular are not appropriate for in-flight locomotion; you can injure yourself. And, due to intermediate turbulence, you may regurgitate your last substantial food.” Tres warned the green priest trying to plant his feet firmly on the plane floor.
Tres, there’s no actual bar on this thing were flying in—I don’t even think it’s a plane; it is a garbage bin launched towards the Desolate Area!” Abel practically screamed. He fervently wished for Tres to second his motion earlier, for them to grab the parachutes at the back and risk loosing their limbs in trekking to the Darklands. Caterina did give them a suspiciously accurate map of the place.

Who is to Blame? (Chapter of Twos: Part One)

(Hahahahaha!!) The Chapter of Twos: Part One

(How ironic…)

Disclaimer: Trinity Blood and its characters are NOT my properties.
Warning: I am sooo drugged when I did this… just finished reading a hilarious fic

Note: Breakdown II—I imagined Abel as a horse for some reason and I couldn’t shrug it off… Having the hay thing so familiar with luring Abel into sweets…

In life, there’s a pattern. There always is a pattern for the evolutionary succession of things to prime their prime. If one specie evolves, all of the species in that area start evolving. This happens if there is a change in the environment and they need to adapt to a new environment according to Charles Darwin’s theory; this goes the same for humans. From prosimians to humans, homo sapiens sapiens. There was a pattern discovered through carbonated traces in our DNA confirming some facts about the theory, but still it remains a theory because of the lack of consistency in finding more evidence per era or even per year. There always was a time jump in the series of studies made by the Father of Evolution.

Part of the many studies involving the Evolution Theory was in the medical field. Pre-Armageddon doctors scuffed through white hospitals, all grouped into different fields of expertise. Some were surgeons; some were neurologists; some were in pathology; some specialize in histology. Every doctor contributed to their oath to serve, heal—well, most of them anyway. Then, there were nurses. Nurses helped doctors through different things. But they didn’t scrub in. Only intern doctors did that, or subcontracted doctors to a hospital. This helped Charles a lot in his quest toward the Galapagos and back. Being a medical practitioner himself, he knew that some factors in healing were nature-based—applying natural techniques that animals use themselves.

Just to get me writing again...

I have been online for the most part of the afternoon... and evening... and I can't get some things out of my head. Like, the fact uncovered of the secret--or not-so-secret--Batman and Superman fandom... I've had gotten this idea when I suddenly watched Justice League after Brokeback Mountain.

There are just some things that have been destined to meet... My love for cartoon that sooned conformed with my love of fandom--bi or otherwise... (You should warn your kids to stay away from the "action" because it's infectious.)

I have started to get my writing up and going again... I was in the mood to write when suddenly I realized that the chapter isn't done yet and I can't type it without perfect conformity. I started to write on my yellow pad and some sentences later, I was searching the net. I searched for my bookmarks and started to search for the bookmarks I made last night--and here the story begins again.

I saw the fics again--Johnny/Reed (I had been warned with it with a sudden pop-out from the archives in Fantastic Four>Movies.) and S/B (Let's just respect the supers as they are...). And, I lost track of time and got down to sincere and devoted fan fiction reading. Thanks to *Transcendenza of LiveJournal and the others that followed.

Then, I realized I wasn't made for their type of writing--my skills just draw on the border of fluff... It will take a lot of work from me. And, it will take a lot of nonsense to drive me into doing smut.

From this day forward, I will not go near smut again... Because it distracts. (Maybe on special occasions which I am not pestered by my Muses to write.)

Insanely me ;)

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Sleepless in Manila

I have watched City of Angels with Meg Ryan in it. Now, I watched Sleepless in Seattle with Meg Ryan in it. Why is Meg everywhere? Oh well... The films are pretty good. In the City of Angels, I cried because I "accidentally" thought of my grandfather's death. That film rocked. Anyway, Sleepless in Seattle was mild compared to the "crying session" LA gave me. But--Samuel Baldwin lost his wife, and his kid found a radio and a telephone and put two and two together. A woman who lived across the country heard the phone call over the radio because of a radio programme, "Dr. Martha Fieldstone Hour". I dunno what it was called. Just that the Ph.D. in the show had that name. Anyway, there was this movie in it, a film named "An Affair to Remember". "That's a chicks' movie." Yes, it is. And, I extremely don't get it. Just by looking at it, I don't get it. Even the "guys' movie". I just don't get it. Well... Beside all of that ranting, Sleepless in Seattle is a nice movie to watch--if you've just experienced City of Angels (CoA), this is a soother. :D

Especially, near the midnight hour. Really sleepless in manila.

Insanely me ;)

Writer's Blockage--SOLVED!

I have just found the cure to writer's block--write something else completely and, then, you write the next installment of your work in the other end. It might sound a bit tiring to you, but it worked for me. You see, I had been too lazy--I do not experience writer's block, just writer's laziness--to write my next installments to a fan fiction that I am working on; it's just pure laziness excruciation. What I did was to write something else entirely. See what other form I can do with the fandom. I've done it and it's still in the works. Now, I've just to write down the installments and we are home free.

Insanely me ;)

Friday, May 16, 2008

The Crying Sessions

My grandmother and I started to watch a movie together. It was the "City of Angels". I watched it for the most part of the movie, as my Gran slept it off. But, in the end, we cried together. I kind of feel guilty of making her cry like that. She hasn't cried like that since my grandfather died. They were inseparable. That movie wasn't really cry-much-worthy but something about its ending, and how I knew Maggie (Meg Ryan) would die in the end, made me cry. And, I don't cry that easily. Not even for my stupid grades (coming from someone who's goal is high grades). I cry about things involving my childhood. My mother, mostly. Talk about her in a disrespectful fashion and you get some serious law issues. I grew up with only a mom by by side. She's a single parent and she's the only one I've got, besides by only family side--my grandparent(s), my cousins, my aunts and uncles. My mom means the world to me. Period. The same maybe said about my Gran. She's the one who taught me how to read and appreciate books like they are part of my flesh, my spirit, my soul. These wonderful people were the ones I imagined while staring into the TV screen. I saw them all in that one shadowed moment of Maggie's uneventful accident. I thought about them and how fragile life truly is. Seth (Nicolas Cage) had unconditional love for Maggie. Now, that's something you don't see or hear or bother very often. They say that there's no such thing as unconditional love--I say they're wrong. How do you think we ended alive in the first place? God has unconditional love for us. Children have it too. But, I think it fades with the innocence of purity and corrodes with the tarnished soul, bashed by the world's infidelity. Wow. Long excruciatingly floral sentence. *chuckles a little*

I just remembered my grandfather. That's all. And it hurts. That's all.

Insanely me ;)

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

What's My Blog WantedFor?



What's Your Blog Wanted For?

I saw this and I laughed! And laughed! and LAUGHED! I didn't know my blog's wanted for THAT! And I'm writing Trinity Blood fanfics! How coincidental!

Maybe I should post my works here too!!! ;) [I was planning on that anyway...]

Insanely me ;)

Saturday, May 10, 2008

The Day When I was Born

149,639 People

That is one serious deal. With one life, so many died. Go figure.

I always thought that when I was born the world was gray and it was in a thunderstorm--I didn't think that it would be this bad. I can't even begin to describe how horrible I feel in the time of writing this; the young ones born into our world today would grow and find that the day when they were born, there were more lives taken than their fathers' and/or mothers'. The melancholy I feel will never end, for this world is full of compassion and doubt and fear--the scrounging for innocence will never cease. The innocence of our world has long been tried to undermine, but we know there are people that are still pure. They balance the sins of this world. My lifetime is short--brief. Knowledge is an endless mass and never-ending pit. How large of a challenge!

But, hearken! There maybe deaths, but not all of them are meaningless. None of them are. The world finds its own justice; there are peaceful and closed deaths--they are released from the examination room and are left to fade into His arms; there are violent and untimely deaths--some are made by man's intent and others by man's mistake.

It's not how you died--but it's how you lived and died fighting for life, living for something that's real. Believing that someone is there. Having God within you, your life, your legacy.

Insanely me ;)

Monday, April 28, 2008

An Unnamed One-shot

“Acting was her life”, she said as she looked into the field not turning to him, “and now she found another.”

A young man in his twenty’s was watching her—conversing with her. He said, “She couldn’t have found another life! That would be too silly!” In his gentleman manner, he said it precariously.

“Silly, as you call it, it is not.” retorted Victoria Valor—a splendid young thing that punctuated beauty as she is the new beginning of it, with her raven hair and jubilant ayes of olive that went with full lips in a petite petal of a face and a dainty body which was, outstanding to know, as strong as an ox. Victoria could have any man. Any man at all. She was of nobility and had genius implanted on her mind but never in it because of fear that it will drain out her beauty. She knew of genius but never attempted to be one—she couldn’t face it alone and she admitted it to the man she was with one afternoon while talking about an actress on a balcony in Bauldelaire Manor.

“When an actress acts, she indulges in her story, in the stage life. She never turns to the world because her only calling is the stage. The only thing real is your act—nothing can be greater.”

Then a sordid look of indignation and joy struck her face with melancholy as an after effect. The young man by the name of Tristan Chale Golbert stepped closer with the offer, “You don’t have to explain.”

“I refuse to refuse my genius not be in me and instead of just knowing genius of others.” the lady voiced. Then—“LOVE! Oh, love is such a folly that life cannot do without and ever be with! It makes us real to reality and sense our senses but releases us of our care. CARE! Care for the stage is what the actress denounced! Her life is for her lover and never more to the stage, once her life. CARE! Of another care, there is selfishness—To think on one’s own, never to be at one with another, taking in all of life’s beauty and to be enthralled alone. But is there really a beau without love?”

With that she looked at the 20-year-old man beside her and asked with tenacious and intrepid sparkling eyes, “Are you such a man that can do that to an actress?”

He paused. Walked over to the refined lady and said, “I don’t believe so.”

She turned away. Victoria Valor said all she had got to keep her vile personality at bay. She hated herself for procrastinating as every proper lady did. And, this, for her, was vile.

“The world is forgotten on stage—“, she continued, “the actors and actresses, the audience melt away with the scenery. The world is sinful and cannot face itself as well as its people cannot face the world in frank. But—“

“In Love, there’s life… and I love you.” Lord Tristan Chale confessed.

Victoria’s voice resided in her echoing her powerful words but when the words of words slipped from the young man’s lips, she, like the world, melted into the scene proper and asked, “Would you like to propose to me?” The man stood in shock before the new thing that sprouted like a laburnum in front of him—he wasn’t attracted to her beauty but to her beau like soul, intelligence and love. She was born anew; not more than the ladies of London, she was not.

Insanely me ;)

A Dream Within a Dream: My Writing Style

A Dream Within a Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow—
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand—
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep—while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

-- THE END --

for Orpheus. Eurydice. Hermes. And Barbara with infinite love as I falter on the road to Ithaka

That's a very inspiring poem by Edgar Allan Poe. He's my favorite writer and poet. I sink well into his thoughts that prelude into darkness of night, of sin, of soulless regard. An epithet of all brooding statures of life, in life--I share his burden. You should see his biography. The man was an alcoholic, and lost his wife to drugs. All the dark phantoms of the universe were conspiring against him in a massive scale. His madness blinded him to the very end. Made him, him...

But I regard him mad but genuinely true. Mad but a genius. Mad but with a reason.

For me, the man's a genius. Up 'till tomorrow, he'll be an inspiration, to say the least. I use a writing style just like his if a fiction would require elements like in his works.

There is also another very intriguing writer called Oscar Wilde. He wrote 'The Picture of Dorian Gray". A very mystifying story of aestheticism, a bridge between hedonism and sadism, to cause pain in the name of beauty. I like the writing style because it borders the edges of sinful tastes and luxurious beauty conspired together into a beautiful mirage of the world. Hahahahaha! I sound like the dude already!

I honored them my first post because they're two of the artists that contributed to my style.

They are two whom I never met.

There is also two people that influence my writing aura that lived with me for many years, and continue to participate greatly in improving my world and my writing. My grandma and my mum. They mean the world to me, as I to them. They inspire me the most and are named the subjects of my ideas, emotions, well-being. They are the 'main support of my life'. Without them, I couldn't exist as I am.

Insanely me ;)